I wake up, I sit up in my bed every morning, look at the clock, stretch, my feet hit the floor, I go to the restroom, use it, wash my hands, and boom. There I am, staring right back at me in the mirror. I dry my hands and while looking down I notice the scale *eh* . Turn back towards the mirror, lift my shirt up to expose my stomach, I have on boy shorts and I switch from side to side. What do I notice? The stretchmarks from when I was 50lbs heavier, my butt with multiple dimples and cellulite, my stomach with a small pudge ( why do I always rub it? lol) I suck in my stomach ( for no apparent reason) Breathe out. And I take a look at my love handles. I turn to my back side and all I see is the acne/ eczema all over my melanin skin, I look at my top left back tattoo… know what it says? ” Love my Imperfections ~Ess” I smile. I smile because of all the flaws I see, I love me some me. I love my body. With all the flaws and the not so perfect shape. I love every part of my body.
I know what it’s like to hate my body. Hate it to the point where I would cover up as much as I could. Nothing was flattering. I had a love/hate relationship with shopping. LOVED what I saw on the rack but hated how it looked on me. “How come this shirt won’t fall correctly on my body?” I always asked myself. Oh that’s right, t’s these 38DD that make the shirt stick out*rolls eyes.* I remember getting so angry because all the big breasted women were limited to 3 colors in bras…. black, white, and nude ( irrelevant but it sure made me dislike shopping at times) And why aren’t these size 13 pants fitting me correctly. Hmph, it’s the love handles and overweight stomach. I HATED my shape so much that I regret loving who I was as a person. I compared my body to my friends and to what I saw on tv and social media. I was depressed. I was insecure.
But why? Why do we do this? Why do we woman look in the mirror, notice every inch of flaws, and completely look at ourselves as if we are disgusting? I know why. It’s because we allow these Super Models, Famous People, (Social)/ Media, Society, dictate how we should look. One era you weren’t nothing if you didn’t have big boobs. These days you have to have a big butt to be noticed. Well I don’t want to compete with any woman. And I won’t. We have to start loving the skin that we are in. And I get it, it’s hard sometimes. We woman are too obsessed on how we look. And that’s okay. But if you cannot walk out the house in your natural state, then it’s an internal issue. You don’t need the spanx or to wear all black to “look” skinny all the time. You don’t need the baggy clothes to cover up your shape either.
It’s important that women STOP BODY SHAMING OTHER WOMEN just because they are not a size 2 or make plus size women feel like they are not beautiful because they carry a little more extra weight. Hey, I say if you are healthy, it really doesn’t matter what size you are. You’re Beautiful.
Those that Body Shame others are shaming themselves. There is something deeper emotionally within which causes that person to go through drastic measures to make changes to their body not because they want to but because society is telling them to. I don’t know about everyone else but I don’t want a HUGE butt with plastic boobs. I don’t want to look like a barbie doll. And I damn sure don’t want the attention that comes with all of that.
Compliment each other. It won’t kill you to tell someone they look Beautiful or how they are rockin’ a new outfit or a pair of shoes!
It’s amazing how much of a confidence boost this is. And not that we should need validation from anyone but you can compliment someone as a simple gesture to make someone’s day! And to those that find it hard to accept a compliment, STOP! ( I do this sometimes) you know what I mean right?
Guy: Wow your hair looks great!
Girl: You think so? You don’t think it’s too dark, or too short? Do you think it makes my head look big? Should I have went lighter? I should have just did highlights huh?!
Ladies , Ladies, Ladies. We have to STOP this. This conversation should have went like this:
Guy: Wow your hair looks great!
Girl: (Smile) THANK YOU! ( hair flip….lol)
That’s it! We have to learn to accept compliments regardless of how you feel. People don’t want to hear you shaming yourself. It’s insecure and unattractive. Be confident when you step out of your door! Stop comparing yourself to the next woman who has better hair, better legs, flatter stomach. If you don’t like what you see be sure you are making the changes because you want to and not for anyone and anything! You are Beautiful! Tell yourself that every single day.
Unfortunately this will be a sensitive issue women will always face. And it’s not something that will go away overnight. That’s why it’s important to practice self loving yourself. You truly have to disregard the negative things you feel about yourself. And it’s hard I know. But it’s do-able. Embrace your body. Every inch of it. Your confidence is everything when you walk in a room. Don’t rely on anyone to tell you your beauty, your value, or your worth.