I love this saying. Do you actually know what it means to be unapologetically you?
Simply not apologizing for the person you are and who you are becoming.
I have learned, as I continue to grow into the woman that God has set me out to be, to always say what I mean and mean what I say. To be socially free without the fear of how people may view me and without the fear of who I may offend. I always felt like the people that can be comfortably unfiltered do not suffer from the regret of that “should’ve said syndrome.” Feelings are meant to be unleashed and not bottled in. You have to set your mind free sometimes. You have to not bite your tongue if something happened to you or if someone made you feel some type of way. And you don’t have to be confrontational. Be an adult. Communicate. Don’t underestimate the power of the tongue. We are given a voice and a spirit to empower ourselves and others to embellish our human being. It’s not about being rude or judgmental at all. It’s about speaking freely and open. If you have to say “I am sorry but….” to people before you open your mouth to comment or bring up some real shit, you are around the wrong people.
I think that’s why I value my fabulous 5 ( my girlfriends/sister/cousin) so much because not too many woman around us can take what we dish. Not too many men can handle our truth and the fact that we don’t hold in what a lot of women cannot say fluently. We speak our minds upfront, uncut, and raw. Like that old saying, if you can’t stand the heat, you HAVE to get of the kitchen.
This lifetime teaches us to BE and LIVE a certain way. We are separated by class. And people turn their noses up toward people that are not living in a stereotypical lifestyle. We are molded into presenting ourselves in a certain way and to routinely live a life by the standards of “our class.” After 18 years of development into a human being, exploring our minds and curiosity of our generation, and being in schools that are teaching us absolutely NOTHING about Adulthood, you are thrown into society survival mode and judged along the way of your choices.
If you don’t go to college , you are considered unintelligent and Corporate America will constantly remind you of it.
If you don’t have an 8AM-5PM job, you are broke and the ambition of entrepreneurship is just a dream.
If you are overweight, you are unhealthy and unattractive.
If you are not married by 30, you will probably never get married because “something is wrong with you.”
If you are black……….oh if you are black…ha! …..I am going to stop there. Being Black is a separate blog that I will dig into later. But this list of the stereotypical mentality of Americans and living in these modern times in America, is mentally suffocating and does not allow people to think, say, or feel out loud.
Unapologetically you in your lifetime means to live by YOUR standards and your rules. To not apologize of who you are and what you are becoming as a man or a woman! I came to terms that if someone doesn’t approve of who I am as a person, then they can exit themselves out of my life. Growth taught me to not get out of character for nothing or nobody. I will never apologize for not living up to anyone’s expectations.
And I know what you are thinking, we can’t be free all the time Ess. There’s a time and a place for that right? Especially being around corporate colleagues or being faced with meeting someone new. Well then continue to live by the standard of others expectations then. My sister had to go to Boston for a corporate training several months ago and the first thing she said was, I should probably remove my nose ring huh? She did. Come to find out when she got there she was surrounded by piercings and tattoos. And I understand where she is coming from. It took me a very long time to wear my afro/natural hair at work not knowing how the workplace would view me. But hell this is my hair that grew out my head. So why should I apologize for being in my natural state?
I am simply saying we have to learn to express our unique selves comfortably even if it makes others uncomfortable!
I have to credit 2 of my fab 5 for having this convo today with me and having some great input into this topic! So shout out to Alicia and Tamara!! ☺