Mentally, behind the phrase or response, “I’m Fine,” can mean a lot of emotional mixed messages. The phrase may sometimes be a complete disguise. It’s a mask to cover up feelings and a mask to hide or disregard simple conversations. It can be subliminal, it can be a cry out for help, or perhaps maybe some people are just…..”fine.”
It’s hard to decipher, especially those who appear like they have it altogether. Their social media post are positive, they smile every day when you see them, the overall picture looks like, PERFECTION.
Majority of the time, it’s not.
To the person who may be hurting behind the words, ” I’m Fine.”
Tell the truth. Talk to someone. If someone is asking how you are, be honest. And if you are around people who judge you, you need a new circle of people who care for your mental state. I understand saying, “I’m Fine,” is to get people off of your back because maybe you are private. Maybe you don’t want to seem like you are nagging or whining. Tell someone why you feel the way you feel. Why are you striving to “look” happy? Why do you want to appear “perfect” in front of others? “I’m fine” is nothing but a lie coming from your mouth. You are lying to yourself and you are lying to people around you who care for you. So be honest with yourself. And don’t be afraid to cry out for help.
To the person who is asking ” How are you?”….
Be gentle in asking the question. Don’t be assertive but don’t hesitate to ask. When you ask, “how are you?” be prepared to be brushed off or be fully prepared for a meltdown. That person needs you right now so make eye contact. Make that person feel like they can sincerely trust you. Be genuine in your approach. Make time for that person to talk to you. I understand we all have lives to live, places to go, and people to see, but if you are not going to be genuine enough or have that compassion to care about the response. Why even ask the question?