Men & Self-Love * Revisit*

I am always speaking life about self love and when I do, I hope everyone knows that I am speaking to all men and women of all ages. I want to vibe about self-love specifically directed toward men. We always hear how men are being patronized and broken down at times and I do think it is important to realize that men deserve to be loved and uplifted just as much as women are.

There are some men who are ostracized from society and in order to feel included or accepted they sometimes feel they have to have this broad chest, big shoulders, head high, and an ego on level 10 in order to be recognized as …..a MAN. But even beneathe all of the masculinity, I know men have emotions of being vulnerable, depressed, or dejected behind closed doors. Like women, they sometimes feel they have to put on a daily mask every day, to show that they are brave, tough, and strong but the dominance of the alpha male is not always rewarding. It’s not always necessary but a craving of attention or perhaps a cry for self-help or self-love. Not all women understand that. Hell, not all of society gets that.  So I understand men being trapped in a conflicted turmoil of self destruction and criticism.

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  • Some men feel like a sign of emotion is a sign of weakness.
  • Some men feel the pressure or feel expected to put on face to be tough because it is where you came from or how you were brought up.
  • Some men feel as though having all the accolades and the materialistic expenses will “get the girl” or need public validation for their success.
  • Some men are constantly feared or rejected because you, as a man, exist.

This is what is surfaced. To us. To Society.

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I hardly know all the things that men go through or the things they suffer from or why. Clearly I am not a man or an expert.

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But I know men battle certain things in life that are deeper than what is surfaced or deemed as a typical struggle.  That’s why stats show that nearly 6 million men are affected by depression every year. And that’s why millions of men suffer from some disorder of mental health, anxiety, behavioral disorders, trauma disorders, and communication disorders. We don’t realize it because sometimes the pride within won’t show it. I know men suppress their feelings and emotions  because in most cases, they have nobody to be vulnerable with. Not without judgement anyway. They have nobody who can withstand that side of them without being labeled as “weak.” To be that dependable rock can’t always be the expectation of a man’s character when he is battling inner trauma, deep emotions, or self affliction. Men cannot always be that stable. They break too. It’s important that we let them know how much we value them.

To my dad, my brother, my man, my cousins, my uncles, to your young boys to oldest and generally, to ALL men out there,

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I want you to reveal who you are. Unapologetically. Be the man God called you to be. Share how you feel with someone because sentiment release of emotions releases the tension of what you are capable of as a man. There will be some hard conversations and hard life to deal with but at some point you must put your ego down. Set the pride to the side. Whatever it is that makes you numb. Remove it.  I want to see you happy. I want to see you become the man you wanted to be when you were young and more. I want to see you soar in your profession and take pride in caring for the ones you love. Your muscle is your mind and your power is your heart.

Teach other boys and men how to be strong, but also teach them how to be open and expressive. Let them know that crying is okay if you hurt. And when you have nobody to turn to, we are here for you. Teach them to love and respect women, that chivalry is not dead, and to never be manipulated by a woman who brings you down. Teach your daughters to be strong for themselves and the difference between the wants and needs of a man, dependability, protection, respect, and expectations of their future husbands.

We, as the ones that understand and are close to you, will listen WITHOUT judgement. Only if you let us in.  You are amazing. You are handsome. You are extraordinary and strong. I admire your courage to press forward through the hardest times, but I will respect your will to expose your true being.

Thank you for being the rock, The foundation, and the force we need when we as women can’t be.

Most of all love yourself and your fellow brotherhood. We need that now, and more than ever.

Me and my dad! Happy Father’s Day. #AlwaysADaddysGirl

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